Acceptance, approval, attention. That’s the desire in my heart. I see it spring up in the most embarrassing places. I think that I’ve outrun it only to walk right into the middle of those feelings.
When someone gives me a compliment. My heart sings. If that someone is a strong male leader, that approval rings a bell heard by the little girl who is still waiting for her father to notice her.
I know that I have this weak spot. For years I have hidden myself and the abilities God has given me. It is easy to be humble when you aren’t doing anything.
The difficult task is doing what God has gifted me to do while walking in truth about my struggle with desiring the approval of man. I like knowing that someone sees me and thinks that I’m okay.
Today I listened to Watermark’s Sunday sermon on Facebook, while walking at the track! I identified the desire that trips me up; I named it aloud. I acknowledged my weakness and asked God, my Father, to fill me with the knowledge of His acceptance of me. No man or woman will ever be enough to satisfy my desire. God alone has what I need.
I imagined the approval of man to be the apple in Satan’s hand held out to me in the garden, I have a choice. Like Esau, I have a choice. God has so much more for me. I will keep walking past what the world has to offer me. God sees me. His Spirit is right here abiding in me. Why would I ever make the trade for the approval of a mere human when the God of Creation is calling me by name?