Do I Want Justice or Jesus?


When someone sins against me I have the right to accuse them. To exact justice. I can hold on to the offense–great or small–demanding justice.  That feels right to my flesh. They did me wrong. Hurt me. Broke me. Changed the way I see life. They owe me! They need to pay for what they did to me. My flesh cries out to be repaid.

But Jesus–

He died for my sin. He died for everybody’s sin. God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. That sin done to me by those people…he died for THAT sin. He brought justice to the cross. Put His own flesh on that rough wood with strong spikes. Separated from His Father, He became that sin.

So, I stand before the cross. Before His broken body with a hammer in my upraised hand, ready to inflict justice. Do I punish that sin that has been taken upon Him? Do I hit the Son of God?

I look into His face. I see the pain and agony. I see my own sin reflected in His eyes. I hear His voice, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” I fall to my knees and the heavy hammer of justice rolls from my outstretched hands.

It is enough. Oh, Jesus, it is enough. My heart knows. My flesh surrenders. Jesus has finished it all. Jesus has satisfied the wrath of God. My wrath has no place here.

It is finished. Completed. Satisfied. I choose Jesus and join Him in his prayer. Father, forgive them…


The Face of Judgement


Let it go, lay it down, let your heart be His.

Give Him room to work.

For the anger of man does not accomplish the righteousness of God.

Step back –let the Spirit move

humble yourself

step out of pride

For pride brings the fall and

God resists the proud.

all have sinned and that means you.

Humble yourself

put down your sword

vengeance is mine says the Lord

leave room for God’s wrath

You don’t know what God is doing

in this moment

in those hearts


Can’t you feel how wrong it feels when judgement speaks from your heart?

She stands so tall with a rod of iron in her spine.


where is the Holy Spirit?

Did she step up on His throne to look so tall?

It is your face that she wears in her cold condemnation and haughty judgement

She stands herself condemned

measured with the very measure that she holds so fiercely to others.

Unyielding as stone her face is set.

Her judgement unbending weighs heavy.

God is kind

God is merciful

God is just

God is holy

I am not God

I am not holy

I am not just

I am not merciful or kind

I am not judge

I am not qualified. I fall short.

Jesus is qualified to judge.

He took his judgement to the cross.

so must I

He gave Himself for others

so must I

He loved with every last breath

so must I

He rose victorious

so will I

but first I die.


Luke 6:35 Romans 3:23 Matthew 7:2 John 3:16  James 1:20  Proverbs 16:18  Matthew 16:24

Live a life worthy


Death has a way of bringing into focus the small things.

the little things we take for granted.

It’s in the days following a death when we take inventory

reviewing the life now lost to us

How they made us laugh

what moved them to tears

How they made us feel

the beauty, the loyalty, the sacrifice

begin to shine

against the black shadow of our loss

the irritating bits that drove us to sharp words

soften now with longing

just one more day, hour, moment

a loving glance, a gesture, a goodbye

we only have the pieces of a life left in our hearts

to help us, teach us, to lead us

into a deeper understanding

of what it is that really matters in the end

Death frames a life

portraying its worth

in finality
















Little Sparks of His Glory



Infinite and Mighty

In Control

I bow my heart to you in this moment

You are worthy.

You alone.

I comprehend so little of who you are and how you love

and what you are doing in this moment

and your eternity

I feel my smallness and the pettiness of my heart.

When I grasp so tightly to the little sparks of glory

that come as I walk in your will.

I remember the desperation I once had and begin to panic

hiding away extra manna for tomorrow’s meal.

And I’m left with nothing but decay and rot in my pocket.*

I forget that I am safe, secure and fully loved by You.

I have no need to grab hold of the tiny sparks of glory

as if that will be all I ever get.

I am fully loved.

Welcomed into the very presence of the King of all glory.

*Exodus 16:19-20



The Truth Hurts…but in a good way


So much of the time I  want to act humble. I get discouraged when I act out of hurt pride. When I don’t hold my tongue. When I take the low road. I am left wishing that I could just hold it together and behave in a humble way. I want to look humble.

This week I am seeing it in a different light. I want to BE humble. The effort involved in acting humble is exhausting. And really, what’s the point? It is just my pride’s best effort to appear…what?….mature…put together…acceptable…better than someone else?  In the light of God’s Truth that looks pretty bad. My sin nature works in overdrive pushing me to appear to be something that I am not by my own ineffectual efforts.

But this week, I said unkind, critical words to my daughter in the name of exhorting. I spoke about someone behind their back. I harbored resentment and wished fervently that the person in the car that passed me on the right at 90 mph would be pulled over by the police so that I could drive by with a triumphant, smug feeling wrapped around me. My heart issues in the car are no joke. I have been proud, not in a good way. I have focused on myself above others. I’ve thought more highly of myself than I ought.

Too hard on myself  you say? Well, maybe except that God is shining His light on my heart even as my flesh squirms nervously in the brightness. Sin longs for the cover of darkness. I am not feeling down on myself or questioning my place in eternity with Christ. I am leaning in desperately to the Truth. I want to BE humble for real. To love people from a pure heart, a good conscience and a sincere faith. 1 Timothy 1:5

Romans 3:23 All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Amen. Romans 8:1, there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

I am working out my salvation in fear and trembling. The good kind. Walking out my salvation if you will.  Acting humble or good or Christian is too much work. I believe that I will let the Holy Spirit create in me a clean heart as I yield to His correction. We have this treasure in earthen vessels…humble vessels…so that the glory is all His.

I can let go


Looking up at the limbs of  the autumn  trees whose leaves have mostly fallen I see the gray sky with wispy white clouds reflecting the last of the sunset.  I watch the remaining leaves still holding to the limb waiting for the wind to finally separate them from the life they have always known.  Thoughts of my past come to my mind. They are not the thoughts of anger and regret. They are no longer filled with deep emotion, but calm like the leaves above me. I am surprised at the peace in the memories that once held such pain. Where self-pity fed and shame ruled, I now find a gentle quiet.

A season in my life has passed. God has done what He said He would. As I have trusted in His Word, He has given me that peace that surpasses understanding. It now guards my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7) So we do not lose heart. Though the outer self is  wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16)

My life is in Him, not in my past. I can let go. I can surrender to the season trusting that His life abides in me.  We have a future to prepare for. Winter, Summer and Spring will bring their challenges, their beauty and their change. I will remain in Him. I will not fear the changes because He is with me. He has conquered my past and made my heart glad. I can look to the future and smile. (Proverbs 31:25)



When I feel separated from the presence of God…

when I begin to cast about in my soul for His steady faithful grace…

but still feel alone,

I open my eyes knowing surely that His truth is constant

knowing full well that He will never leave me

or forsake me.

So,  it must be showtime!

Time to walk by faith–

time to show the prowling lion outside my door to Whom I belong.

I am my beloved’s and He is mine. His banner over me is love.

He has saved me to the uttermost.

I belong to Him no matter what. No matter how I feel.

I run toward the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus.

I turn my heart to His Word–

Living, Active, Sharper than any two-edged sword.

I set my heart there…open, willing, exposed for the working of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit.

He is able to separate and cut through all that concerns me. To separate the truth from lies, the darkness from light.

For so great a cloud of witnesses I will show forth the glory of God. For all number of prowling lions at my door–they will see the greatness of my God, Who saved a wretch like me. Who, while I was yet a sinner, He died for me. According to His own mercy, He saved me.

2 Corinthians 4:5-7  Hebrews 4:12 Titus 3:5-6  Hebrews 12:1-3 1 Peter 5:8